by Kitty Merrill | Aug 7, 2018 | Justice Actions
The role of Association District Representative was, for many years, coordinated by Pacific Southwest District (PSWD) Administrative staff. It existed to maintain informal and informational communications among the congregations of the district (PSWD) and the Association (UUA). The position was held for several years by the late Kitty McConkie, and then by me, Jim Merrill.
As a result of recent administrative changes, the ADR role ceased to be supported by PSWD/PWR (Pacific Western Region) staff. As a PSWD Trustee for two years and then President of the PSWD Board of Trustees for the last three years, I continued to provide updates and informational columns to this newsletter about district-specific and some associational issues. My term as President concluded June 30, so I no longer have any official connection to the district, region, or association. Hence, this is my last ADR report.
I am aware, however, of topics around our UUCV congregation’s relationship to the PSWD, to Camp de Benneville Pines, and to the Region and Association that I may be able to help explain in occasional columns with the indulgence of our intrepid newsletter editors.
We Merrills have been advocates of and participants in greater involvement in district and associational affairs (PSWD District and PWR Regional Assemblies and UUA General Assemblies) for the sake of trends in our movement beyond our congregation.
The publication UU World – https://www.uuworld.org/ – is one way all of us can keep up. Our congregation’s Leadership Development Committee maintains a budget to support lay members’ participation in broader district, regional, and associational affairs.
I’faith, Jim Merrill
by Kitty Merrill | Jul 5, 2018 | Men's Groups
The UUCV “Mostly Senior Men” meet on the first Saturday of the month for breakfast and social conversation.
Please come to meet new and old friends and enjoy the friendship, fellowship and food. All UUCV men are welcome and encouraged to join us.
Days: First Saturdays
Time: 9:00 am
Location: Marie Callender’s Restaurant on Victoria Ave.
Contact: Ray Escobedo (805) 658-8543, Cell:( 805) 216-3294; raye3294@gmail.com
by Kitty Merrill | Jul 4, 2018 | Men's Groups
Demystifying Men’s Groups
Men’s Support Groups are part of Adult Programs. Most men’s support groups at UUCV have been practicing principles of spiritual growth since their inception – some well over a decade ago. These principals include incorporating ritual and structure into meetings – while remaining flexible, aligning discussion with the monthly theme, and striving for spiritual maturity.
Individual men’s groups exist within the same umbrella but are autonomous. The affairs of one group do not affect others and there is no centralized management.
The small groups meet twice a month, usually on a mid-week evening from 7 – 9pm. Groups either meet at the church or in private homes.
Uncommitted Groups
In uncommitted groups men are free to attend as they see fit, a kind of open door drop-in policy. Uncommitted groups serve as the gateway to join UUCV committed men’s groups.
Committed Groups
Other small groups are meet as committed groups, each defining “committed” differently. It may be defined as renewing an individual’s commitment every six months and making attendance at meetings a high priority. It can also define how new members are inducted and what is expected when someone leaves the group.
Spiritual growth is a focus of the men’s groups, along with fellowship and support. Men are encouraged to share their personal experience and speak from the heart. To do this one must be Dedicated, Vulnerable, and Patient. This requires a significant level of trust in the group—and in one’s self. The goal of UUCV men’s support groups is to make a safe space available in the congregation for men to feel a deeper connection to others.
by Kitty Merrill | Jul 3, 2018 | Justice Actions
It has been quite a year, start to finish. My overwhelming memories of 2017-2018 will be about the power of community. We talk about creating the Beloved Community, and we have lived it fully at UUCV this past year.
Truly, I can’t remember all that much before the Thomas Fire swept in, and I watched this congregation rise to the moment. We opened our doors, checked in with each other, supported our families, cared for each other, our children, and our four-legged companions. Since then, I’ve watched as we’ve grown in depth and in the ties that hold us together. Our tapestry of love is more beautiful and strong.
This is a congregation that shows up. Yes, lots of folks come to worship on Sundays. Yet there are so many places to show up – women’s and men’s groups, Open Mic Night, annual meetings, Cluster Camp at deBenneville Pines (this year Sept. 28-30), picnics, Sunday luncheons, city council meetings, covenant groups, committees and teams, Pub Theology with the minister, book groups, movie nights, late services on Christmas Eve, water-coloring, Women’s Marches, Park Outreach, and so much more. Including memorial services.
You all helped create a powerful moment at Cindy Camillucci’s memorial last month. Cindy was taken from us too soon and too quickly. Her death was particularly hard on her son, and this community showed up for him in so many ways. We organized the reception, created the program, rehearsed the music and so much more.
The minister’s main role at a memorial is “holding the space,” creating an open and safe place for grief, laughter, sorrow to arise as they will. It’s harder than it may look. In a particularly emotional moment for Cindy’s son and his father, I was holding that space as mightily as I could. Then, I looked up at you all and realized that you were holding the space with me, just as mightily. I got chills as I thought, “Yes, this is what we do.”
This is how we keep the feeling of a family even as we have grown to more than 300 souls among our members, friends, children and youth. That many people really counts as more than a family. We don’t (and can’t) all know each others’ names. Yet we can create a sense of home. This is a place where there is room at the table for all.
We show up. We pull up a chair, pull out an extra plate, show a newcomer where to wash it (because we try hard to be environmentally sustainable). We listen to stories. We reach out and reach back. We do our level best to create a Beloved Community.
Just wow.
With love, Rev. Dana