Minister’s Column – November, 2018

by Kitty Merrill | Nov 4, 2018 | Justice Actions

Back in 2006 at a retreat, Board of Trustees did a visioning exercise asking: If the church were a person, how old would s/he be? What kind of person, what stage of life? They gave the church-as-person the gender neutral name Robin.

Twelve years ago, they thought Robin was a teenager on the cusp of becoming an adult, poised to do great things, but not yet launched.

S/he is:

• A kid, just moved out of the house. (The church had just moved down the hill from the Terry House.)
• On a journey, full of inquiry, authentic, caring, vulnerable.
• Someone who had a good upbringing, yet was at a bit of an awkward stage. Still asking, “What’s my place in the world? What’s my work? Who’s in charge and what are the limits?”
• Someone with lots of friends to bring home and many choices.
• Going in 15 directions at once.
• Dynamic, like unset Jello, (my personal favorite).

In 2013, Robin was resurrected at a Board and Congregation visioning session. Now Robin is a bit older, “about to be booted out of young adult camp.”

S/he is:

• Healthy, self-aware, still well-adjusted, focused, realistic, competent.
• Perhaps a little weary of growth, still dreaming but realizing some dreams are harder to achieve and are different than expected.
• Yet also rewarded by risks taken and ready to risk more.
• Has fewer authority issues, becoming a better team member.
• Knows more what s/he knows and how much s/he doesn’t know.
• Ready to lead from a place of greater experience.

We brought Robin back for Big Vision Saturday in October. The 30-plus people in Berg Hall realized Robin’s pronoun has become the singular “they” per our deeper understanding of the gender continuum. Most thought Robin is older, though still in transition. And Robin is busier than ever as a program-style church.

They are:

• More mature and stable, even gray at the temples, yet still with youthful energy.
• Experiencing some internal and external conflict.
• Values-driven and re-evaluating priorities. On the brink of a renaissance? A mid-life crisis?
• More nurturing, making more connections.
• Still going in 15 directions at once (both positively and negatively), feel­ing compartmentalized/stratified.
• Maybe bored or complacent, yet enough energy to make a shift.
• Seeking a sense of sanctuary.
• Becoming an extended family with children and grandchildren.

The world is a different place than it was 12 or even 5 years ago and we are a different church. There is both a sense we know who we are and we want to be more. We can be a strongly connected group caring for each other (even not knowing everyone). We can still bring our experienced-still-learning voice to the world.

I invite everyone to continue this visioning journey with the Five- Four-Five team and me over the next year.

Blessings and love, Rev. Dana

Minister’s Column – October, 2018

by Kitty Merrill | Oct 4, 2018 | Justice Actions

A Word About Applause

This is a question that cycles around again and again:

When is it appropriate to applaud the music in a worship service?

At UUCV applause is becoming more routine. Some people do wave their hands in the American Sign Language sign for applause (though others also find that distracting). Applause is problematic when it becomes routine as for most performances and is not an authentic response to the music itself.

Music in worship is not a performance, it is a spiritual offering, a medita­tion, a gift of holy sound. For some it feels awkward not to applaud. Yet for others applause intrudes jarringly into a meditative experience.

There is yet another layer of cultural expectations in this discussion. An expectation of silence comes, at least in part, from a Eurocentric Western ethos. In many cultures, music in worship is almost a conversation between musician and congregation, a shared holy experience. This is a consideration for us as we speak of being a community welcoming of many cultures, races and backgrounds.

There is no right or wrong here, no hard and fast rule. Here are a few things to consider.

Often the most appropriate response to music is a hushed, reverent silence, especially if it is quiet and tender.

Remember for some, applause after music that is heart-rendingly beautiful can be a shock to the system.

Alternatives include:

• Smiling gratefully at the musicians,
• Clasping your hands over your hearts,
• Thanking the musicians after the service.

Please do applaud when a piece of music is so uplifting and inspiring, it joyously carries your energy up and out your hands before you think about it.

Remember that for some, a dead silence after music is played can feel oppressive and constrained.

When we have musicians singing a familiar folk or rock song, or the choir sings a rollicking, foot-stomping gospel number, the impulse to applaud is wonderfully spontaneous.

Sometimes it is completely appropriate to:

• Sing along,
• Clap in time (though try to clap on beats 2 and 4, not 1 and 3),
• Call out a joyous answer to a question the lyrics pose.

Applause is worse when it is polite and perfunctory.

When in doubt, you can follow the lead of the Music Director or the Minister.

There is no clear bright line about when to applaud or not. (We can almost rest assured that our favorite response to music will drive someone else crazy.)

This is one of the places we may need to be uncomfortable some of the time as we work at embracing a wider realm of human and cultural expression.

It is an area to practice kindness and curiosity with one another.

Loving the conversation and all of you,

Rev. Dana